American Idol
So I was hoping the new Pope in town would inspire maybe like, a Hymn Night or maybe a Latin Incantations theme. But no, we got something even more heavenly: '70s Dance Music! I mean, come on. Donna Summer. The Brothers Gibb. The entire Roller Boogie soundtrack. All the proof of God I need, right? And even though the final seven probably only know Studio 54 as a crappy Mike Myers flick, it turns out most of them still knew how to turn the beat around. Which made for a far less hellacious experience than I'm apparently headed for when the saints come marching in, you know?
Constantine Maroulis: OK, was a little worried about Con trying to replicate those freakish Bee Gees falsettos for "Nights on Broadway," especially under the weight of all that eyeliner. But the boy done good. Now all I have to worry about is that lady friend of his in the audience. Cyndi Lauper called, hon. She wants her entire shtick back. OK, OK, I admit Constantine has done well the past couple of weeks, I even thought he could sing, he proved to me again on this song that he cannot sing. And what about that eyeliner? Ewwwww. Get this fake off the show. - Marc
Carrie Underwood: Forget Simon's jab about her Barbie-meets-Stepford-Wife getup. First off, it was clearly Baby Jane on methadone. And second, even with the pageant hair and prom dress, the powerhouse hit the heights with a "MacArthur Park" that sounded like it was written just for her. Fabulous, despite those ridiculous lyrics. I mean, who leaves a cake out in the rain, anyway?
Scott Savol: What sucks more than the fact that this one is still around is that his "Everlasting Love" didn't suck. At least not enough to get him voted off. No, we'll leave that to...
Anthony Fedorov: How ironic. He does the Tavares' "Don't Take Away the Music" and all I'm thinking is "Please, take it... now!" Bottom three guaranteed. Zzzzzzz.
Vonzell Solomon: Rockin' the Chaka Khan like that, you are every woman, Baby V! And like Paula (only without the sloe-gin fizziness), I love you, too. Now call me, OK?
Anwar Robinson: Again with the shaky notes! Dag. "September" is too much fun to be wobbling around like that until the big ending. Come on, pull it together. You and Anthony are making it way too easy for Scott to stick around!
Bo Bice: Holy hotness! Up until about 94 seconds ago, I thought my buddy Neil's band knew how to give good "Vehicle." Then Bogart came along, tore into the Ides of March classic and kicked my hopes of a Bo win into high gear. If only so there can finally be an Idol album I won't be ashamed to be heard bellowing to in the car. Damn you, Kelly Clarkson and your "Hazel Eyes"! — Damian J. Holbrook
The Watercooler - [TV Guide Online]
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment