American Idol 5 - Las Vegas Auditions

(OK, I was gonna write this all by myself but Sara does this so well and takes such good notes. I'll leave my comments again. Thank you Sara.)

On this episode of American Idol, we get to see auditions from Vegas and they turn out to be sort of dull.

First, there's a guy with a wig and fake Jamaican accent. His name is Alexis. The fact that they're opening with this guy, who is neither awful nor outstandingly embarrassing, tells me all I need to know about this episode. The judges pass. Is he really crying? He's really crying! "I don't have to wear a wig," Alexis says. No comment.

A guy walks in dressed as a joker from a card deck. "It's a no," Simon says without letting him sing. This was kinda hard.

Bobbie May is a returning face from last season's bad auditions. This time, she's her sister's manager. They're outside the room doing vocal exercises that sound like two people just talking, really. Sister Erica sings. "You are better than your sister, however it still wasn't great," Simon says. As they walk out, he adds, "Please don't come back. Can't you just watch it next year?" I really hope we never see these folks again.

Mecca Madison is a cute, tiny bellydancer. She's quite the singer and finally we have someone going to the next round. Yep, I liked her. I liked the friend she was bellydancing with too.

Ryan Hart says, "I don't think the judges have even heard of my kind of singing," which is a bad sign. He walks into the room and says, "I'm Ryan, what's your name?" Idiot. So he does this special "sucking in while singing" metal technique. Simon says: "I'm bored with you!" Ryan says, "I'm hardcore, man!" Idiot. This was scary.

Heather Ward counsels prisoners. I totally respect that. She's doing a good thing. Simon says, "I'm normally the one who does the handcuffing." Forgive me for not believing that. Heather sings a great rendition of Redneck Woman, but Paula passes? I'm confused. They did an in-depth story on her. I liked her. I would have sent her on. I was confused by Paula passing on her as well.

Jason Andino is a gondolier in Vegas' fake Venice. He says, "Whatever happens in Vegas goes on my Web site," which is genuinely funny. And he's a pretty good singer. My boyfriend walks in and says, "this kid's ugly like mashed potatoes." I guess that's why he didn't make it to the next round. They did an in-depth on this guy too. I laughed at his Las Vegas line too. I would have passed this guy on.

Crazy-eyed J.C. Gray. He's a returning auditioner and, apparently, he grew a mullet for this season. That's a real step up. Simon says, "Sometimes you say 'no' before someone starts singing. And I did." And so J.C. walks out cursing and drives out of the parking garage dangerously. That'll show 'em! Scary.

Anthony Andolino appears to be a "collector" as they say on Animal Planet's Animal Cops. What's worse, AI wants you to understand, is that he's really, really fat. Because that's really, really funny, you see. He's singing Lately by Jodeci. Jodeci?! He's bad. Simon, predictably, says, "It's just as well, we couldn't afford the food bill." They did an in-depth story on this guy too.

Maureen and Marnelli Pearson, twins, sing Dreams by the Cranberries. The Cranberries!? Simon says, "pleasant, but dull." Paula seems tired and cranky. Everyone passes. The twins are crying. "It meant so much to our dad," they say. The 4th in-depth story of the night that the judges ended up turning away. Alot of times when they do the in-depth thing, you can usually count on them going to Hollywood. Sara, what's wrong with the Cranberries? I thought the twins were OK and didn't understand why we didn't get to see them sing seperately.

Next up is a guy named Haggai. I didn't catch where he's from, but it's not here. He's wearing a shirt with American flags on it. I guess he doesn't realize that you're not supposed to do that, but neither does Mattress Mac. He tells everyone that they have beautiful eyes. He says, "I'm going to look in the judges eyes and they're going to be excited." Of course he's singing God Bless the USA, by Lee Greenwood. The judges say no. He blames it on the judges not looking at him in the eyes. This guy had heart though.

Taylor Hicks has gray hair. He explains that he started going gray when he was 15, so you are to presume that he's younger than you think, but I'm thinking late 30s. He's going to sing some Sam Cooke. Turns out he's a really nice blues singer. He's going to Hollywood! Cool. I liked this guy, very glad they sent him on.

That's it. Only 11 people going to Hollywood from Las Vegas.
Tubular: What happens in Vegas...